My mom is the most critical person I have ever met. Every time she sees me she has to comment about something, ANYTHING.

"Oh hm have you been watching what you eat? You've gotten fatter."
"Stop slouching. Stand up straight. It makes you more elegant."
"Why don't you dress in nicer clothes?"

I'M SO FED UP WITH IT. Is that ALL she can EVER talk about? When I start getting annoyed and talk in my attiude voice, she blames me for being a bad daughter. "Why can't you be nice? Why can't you be like other children? I bet Valerie or Jeff never talk to their parents like this." MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS AREN'T SO FREAKING CRITICAL?

Today my mom came into my room because she wanted to bond and because she was lonely. So I decided to show her some prom photos. All she could talk about was how I was standing at a bad angle and thus my shoulders looked really wide. She looked at my photo for 5 minutes. Then she would turn the pages to look at other pictures, but constantly turn back to look at my picture. She then asked to see the larger versions.

"Why are other people positioned more nicely? Did you have the same photographer?"

Holy crap how the hell am I supposed to know, and why the hell does it even matter now?

"Wow I never knew the front of your dress was that short. Your legs look really big. You should've worn a longer dress. I never really liked your dress."

GEE THANKS MOM. What else is wrong with my body!??! Plus, when I showed her the dress she said she LIKED IT AND THAT I HAD GOOD TASTE, but then she told me she lied. What the hell!?

"At least your makeup was done nicely and your face looks very sweet. If you lose a few pounds you'll be PERFECT."

I'm really glad she sees me as her unperfect daughter right now.

"It's okay. There's always next time."

Freaking A. Then I say, "Uh I never asked for your sympathy. I'm not even feeling sorry for myself or anything so I REALLY don't understand why you're telling me it's okay."

Mother says, "Why are you so mean to me? I'm just trying to give you advice."

"WELL. I never ASKED for it. If I need it then I'll TELL you."

Then the phone rang. Before she picked it up, she said, "Well I can't help it!" Then she shut up because she had to take the call. Thank goodness.

And people wonder why my self esteem is so fucking low. Congratulations, mother.