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Sometimes I wonder how I would have handled situations that I'm going through now if it were three years ago, or even one year ago.
I am so utterly confused and I feel like I have to keep it bottled up inside of me because the subject seems like such taboo. -- While I was playing tennis yesterday, my strings finally broke. I took them to get restrung today and I'm getting purple strings! Beautiful! I've been reading John Piper's When I Don't Desire God, and I especially liked this passage in what I read today. It's what Jonathan Edwards wrote as one of his resolutions to live for God's glory: Resolved, To endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of...To study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly in the knowledge of the same...To live with all my might, while I do live. Reading this book has been wonderful. Every day, I realize the laziness, idleness, and apathy that is part of how sinful I am, which leads me to realize how very much I need God. Without Him, I really would be a complete slave to sin. Jonathan Edwards tells about how much he strives to experience as much joy in the Lord as he can in this life so that it may be with him for eternity. How can I even compare the things of this world to the treasures that God has promised to me? I need to desire this joy with the strongest of my will and capabilities. It's a huge challenge, but I have hope. |
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